Wednesday, October 17, 2018

OctPoWriMo Day 16: Love Song

I am not good with poetic forms. This is most likely because I wasn't introduced to them early enough in my life to be comfortable with them, and I managed to miss any classes in college that might have taught me something about them.

So. Today. Terzanelle.

I almost gave up on this one after metaphorically throwing it across the room more than a dozen times, starting at Line 1. The intrepid and wonderful Jane Dougherty, whose poems I am in awe of, suggested listening to the rhythm instead of trying to beat it into submission with a wet noodle and an excited corgi - and that really helped a lot. Rhythm I can grok - I'm a musician, rhythm is part of my life.

So after much potato-ness, brain going on a tangent mixing up symbiotes with 'Catch me when I fall' (yes, Venom), and dozens of snarly fits later, this is my Terzanelle of Doom.

It's a good thing I have an amazingly supportive unconventional SO. Not everyone'd be thrilled at being called a symbiote host - even one not named Eddie Brock (he is definitely the Better Half of the pair of us. Me? I'd bite off heads without the slightest provocation if I had my way of dealing with Idjits).

For the Greyhound

Symbiote. You and I
Know each other too well.
Symbiote: you and I

Co-exist. Heaven. Hell.
Either happens when we
Know each other too well:

What should be said softly
Is shouted. Faerie light
Either happens when we   

Dream it, or make it. The night
Eats me. What should be soft
Is shouted. Faerie light?

Maybe. Hold me aloft.
I’m your Venom. Darkness
Eats me. What should be soft

Isn’t. You light my blackness.
I’m your Venom. Darkness.
Symbiote? You and I?
Symbiote - You and I.


Jane Dougherty said...

I like this. The run ons are perfect. Is it really about a greyhound?Would be funny if you had one—so have i :)

Shuku said...

Hee hee hee. Greyhound! I'm jealous now! I would love to have one, but I don't, (and can't have one) alas - the Greyhound is what I call my SO, after the title of a Vienna Teng song. I'm glad you like the terzanelle! It was such an irritation. But, granted, I might try it again, this time with a less difficult err, metaphor. :)

Merril D. Smith said...

Good job with the terzanelle. Now that you and Jane have both tried it, I'll have to give it a shot one of these days. :)

Shuku said...

Thank you Merril! Yes you must give it a shot, we both want to read it. :) It's very bonkers-inducing though.

odhran said...

And here I was picturing two people on a long journey on a bus....Well done!

Shuku said...

Heee! Thank you Kay - well, it COULD be two people on a long journey on a bus, I'd almost forgotten about Greyhound buses (I haven't been on one in over a decade now!)

Ornery Owl said...

Oh, I love it!
That form damn near did me in, I'll tell you what!

Shuku said...

High five Cara! YES I KNOW RIGHT.. damn form had me hyperventilating too!