I don't even want to know why the first thing that came to mind when 'write about magic' came up, was 'Oh god NO I've flushed Paradise down the toilet.'
It went from there. Don't ask.
CALL THE PLUMBER, PARADISE IS STUCK IN THE U-BEND
They
said, “Don’t read in the bathroom.”
So I did.
There
was always a stack of Reader's Digests
On top
of the cistern.
One day
I looked up from reading an article
About
Adolf Eichmann (I was seven.
Pudgy. An
undercooked char siew bao)
And I
saw a unicorn – “MA LOOK IT’S A
UNICOOORN!”
Standing
inside a great shimmering starry portal.
But the
minute I scrambled off the toilet seat
Chubby-roll
fingers outstretched (god, all the germs.
I could’ve
killed it with disease)
Both
magical beast and portal vanished.
I cried
for days.
Twenty-six
years, 9496.29717 visits to the bathroom
(give or
take several extra for sick days)
A couple
shitty boyfriends, and several non-careers later
I’m in a
run-down public toilet
In a high class mall
Reading The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
On my
iPad, and I look up
And
there’s a portal in front of me:
A great
shimmering starry portal
With a
view of the insides
Of the
most beautiful library I’ve ever seen.
I can’t
take my eyes off it. I don’t. I stand up.
And then
my hand snakes out by instinct
(it’s
important to flush public toilets you know.
It’s
only polite)
And the
minute I flush
The
entire damn portal disappears
And I howl,
Oh god no
I’ve flushed
Paradise down the toilet.
Given
the wreckage I’ve made of myself so far?
Wouldn’t
be the first time.
Won’t be
the last.
(The
looks those snooty elegant dress-up dolls
That pass
for women gave me
On my
way out.
You’d
think they’d never known the pain
Of being
so close to Paradise,
Only to
lose it down the drain
Due to societal
niceties and being – gasp!- considerate.)I just know I'm going to cry for days.
8 comments:
I love this! Both the poem and your introductory comment: "...it went from there." I so get this!
Hi Linda, thank you so much! Yes, 'It went from there' needs to be a CLASSIC phrase of writers and poets because that happens all. the. TIME. *high-five*
This is absolutely great! I especially like the use of parentheses, makes for a good story-telling (which this poem is).
Ileea, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! If only we could find paradise so easily (maybe not in the toilet, but...) If I keep reading your work, I've a feeling I'll at least improve my Swedish *reading* if not the pronunciation (I'm a beginning Finnish language student. I'm dropping into the deep end.)
That is a deep end indeed, you have me intrigued! Do you have some connections to Finnish/Finland, or do you learn the language just for fun? (No obligation to answer, of course!)
I started out learning it so I could read the untranslated books in a Finnish series I love! Only two books have been translated into English, in that series, so I figured that rather than wait till I was about 100 years old to read the translations, I'd be better off learning the language. Now I'd like to visit Finland so I could observe the education system, but I still want to read my favourite books!
Swedish is also the second national language there, so I suppose this is a Sign I should start attempting to comprehend Swedish as well. I sing it, and I can pronounce it decently well in song but I can't speak it at all!
Then I am even more impressed! I am a Swedish-speaking Finn/Fenno-Swede myself (quite obviously, since I write my poems in Swedish) and know what a difficult language Finnish is. What series made such an impression? I think you will have a great advantage in speaking English if you ever start studying Swedish "for real". Good luck in your language studies! :)
Oooooh!!! It's the Raid series I want to read - I loved the translations and a lot of the humour does get lost in translation. I'm wading my way through all the conjugation insanity of Finnish (Saatanan ultra peruna!!!) and it's making a little more sense but still boggles my mind x.x
Thank you re studies! I will try and see what I can pick up of Swedish too! Then I can communicate with you in your language tooook.
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